How do I explain...

"The happiness promised us in Christ does not consist in outward advantages—such as leading a joyous and peaceful life, having rich possessions, being safe from all harm, and abounding with delights such as the flesh commonly longs after. No, our happiness belongs to the heavenly life.

Christ enriches his people with all things necessary for the eternal salvation of souls and fortifies them with courage to stand unconquerable against all the assaults of spiritual enemies. From this we infer that he rules—inwardly and outwardly—more for our own sake than his.

Thus it is that we may patiently pass through this life with its misery, hunger, cold, contempt, reproaches, and other troubles—content with this one thing: that our King will never leave us destitute, but will provide for our needs until, our warfare ended, we are called to triumph."

—John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, 2.15.4

Good morning. This excerpt (above) is a pretty good communication of what I so often feel, but can't always communicate. It may seem that in the things I am committed to and the lifestyle I choose, I am not always a happy bubble of joy, but that does not mean that I am not doing well. I could not imagine at the present time being anywhere other than exactly where I am. I am content to be in the midst of what God is doing and desire to be faithfully committed to His work in me and in the world.

We fight a battle daily against the distracting illusions of the devil (to make this world our home and joy) and the temptation to leave the Great Commission behind. But it's the victories and experiencing God's grace in the failures that make following Jesus so beautiful and exciting.

It's hard though. I am seeking to learn how to live with the urgency of the gospel in my heart, yet not carrying on my back the burdens of the sorrows and the reality of the world we live in. (Or thinking that that is the "holy" thing to do). The Lord says that is His to carry. We are called to be conduits of his love to the hurting people and world around us. In living aligned with him there is a fullness of joy, peace, and purpose that one can't find anywhere else.

Here's to learning boundaries and learning how to journey through this life faithful to the call, resigned to the abundant uncomprehensible grace God desires so much to pour out on us, and hungry for the surpassing peace and joy God promises to his children.

Disciple in the training school of life.