The Refinery

What is life about?

2010-01-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

What are you thoughts?

What is life about? How are we called to live our lives? What are the non-negotiables? What is negotiable?

List in progress:
> To love the ones you are with. Whether you are on the bus, in the line at the grocery store, in your home, at work....
>To receive love from God and obey him in return

Advent :-)

2009-12-07T10:43:00.000-08:00

"There's a time to get ready by rejoicing that our God is not far away and unfamiliar with the struggles of human life, that Christ is here right now among His followers, that God has already begun to bring in the Kingdom, and that Christ will come again to make it clear who really runs the place.

That's Advent."

http://www.spirithome.com/advent.html

School Uniforms

2009-09-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

I caught the bus earlier this morning and was blessed to meet up with a friend who I've developed a relationship with on the bus over about a year and a half. She is Muslim from Gambia with a loving smile and a generous heart. I'm really happy that God has created me to find joy in meeting and talking to new people because I get to find friends like her.

Anyway, we got to talking about life and God's blessing and provision and how we are called to serve with what God has given us. She then shared something that I could, yet couldn't believe, was happening in my neighborhood.

She shared about one of her son's friends. She said that this is a good kid and very bright. He wants to go to college and on top of his school work, take classes at LAtradetech to learn more. However, my friend found out that he quit the football team, and recently that he dropped out of the college prep program called Upward Bound.

She had exhorted him to not give up, but then later found out it was not because of something in his character, but because he didn't have the money to pay for the bus to go to and from Upward Bound. It turns out this is also why he quit the football team. He couldn't pay the $50 needed for the football gear (shoes, mouth guard, stretchy pants...). He also started missing school, and my friend's son found out it was because he didn't have money for a uniform. Some of his friends were letting him borrow their collard shirts...but isn't that crazy! Stereotypically, you'd think kids were not coming to school because they were rebelling or gang banging or something, but here it's because he doesn't have the proper attire to attend school. This was a problem in the squatter community we visited in the Philippines as a result of poverty and different systems at work. But in a city of such wealth, I am deeply disappointed that kids can't go to school because they don't have a uniform or money for a bus pass!

And what makes this situation even more difficult is that even if the school or the Upward Bound program or others in the community could and wanted to help with the bus pass or uniform...many of these students are too embarrased to share their situation in order to get help. I mean you have got to admit...it's pretty humbling. How many of you would feel fine about asking your co-workers for a shirt so you could come to work? And not just as a favor, but because who couldn't buy one yourself.

There is beauty in all this however. The beauty is in this kid's friends letting him borrow their uniforms. My friend's son gave one of his newer shirts to his friend along with a pair of shoes he doesn't wear as much. My friend encouraged her son saying that this is what friends do, they take care of each other. It's also in the generosity of my friend who's a single mom living on $1100 a month, some of which she sends to support her extended family in Africa.

My friend is torn because she wants to help, and feels that it would be helpful to talk to this kid's mom about their situation. However, her son doesn't want her to say anything in case it might mess up his relationship with his friend...violate trust or something. This is a hard place. I want to do something. I know we could find the help he needs.

I can go around the world, or just walk around my block.

2009-09-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

So I just returned from an awesome adventure to Switzerland and Italy where I sought out relatives of the Terribilini family in the Ticino Mountains above Locarno, Switzerland, and visited old friends and made some new all over Florence and the surrounding area. It was beautiful.

While I was there, I wasn't that enthusiastic about returning to the busy, dirty city of Los Angeles. However, last night while I was walking to USC, to find some time away from the oven that is my house during these hot summer days, I found something I do enjoy about my city and my neighborhood. I found my Oaxacan neighbor outside laying brick (ladrios) like "they did once upon a time". I considered just waving and continuing on my way, but instead I turned around to say hi and asked if I could come inside and see what he was doing. Struggling with communicating in Spanish (I had Italian on the brain) we shared a wonderful evening. I learned about laying brick, using the earth, rather than cement to seal in the cracks. I learned about plans for the garden that he was going to plant around his house and some new vocab words like herba buena (mint) and ortaliza (vegetable garden), and how Flor de Hawaii is called Flor de Mayo in Oaxaca. Then I just sat on the steps while he worked away eventually spending some time talking to his wife when she got home from work. I learned that their little chihuahua mix is named Trevi after the artist Gloria Trevi because apparently she was a bit crazy and that fit's Trevi's personality well. I was happy. It was like a little piece of Italy around the corner in the sense that I got to operate in a different language, that I got to learn about gardening and simple living, and the joy of just sitting and being with people.

At one point the fruit truck drove by and I went and picked out a mango, some bananas and plums. My fruit vendor blessed me in Spanish and told me to take care of myself and I shared some smiles with another neighbor, who was also out buying fruit this evening, after she tried to explain on my behalf why I didn't need plastic bags for my fruit :-).

It was a good night. Thank you God for the gifts you give your children.

Enter His Rest

2009-03-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

Enter His Rest

In the last two messages, we've considered the glory of the Lord. We saw how we are now God's Temple and are to "reflect the Lord's glory" (2 Corinthians 3:18) into the world as we are transformed into the likeness of Christ. It is a great honor to be in the presence of the Lord and we have been given the awesome responsibility to reflect an "ever-increasing" amount of His glory.

But what does this really mean? How can we increase the glory which our life reflects?

When we place our life in the Hands of God through faith in Jesus Christ, we are given His Spirit "with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption" (Ephesians 4:30). We reflect His glory as we submit to His leading and allow the fruit of His Spirit to be evident in our life; "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). As we further submit and allow His fruit to define the character of our life, God's glory will shine with ever greater intensity!

Notice that the focus of reflecting His glory is on submission, not on our effort. When the glory of the Lord filled Solomon's Temple, "the priests could not perform their service" (2 Chronicles 5:14). God's glory and the work we perform through our own effort are incompatible - our work hinders His reflection.

Hebrews 4:10-11
"For anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from His. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest."

God created the heavens and the earth in six days; "By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all His work" (Genesis 2:2). God was satisfied with His work and entered His rest for all eternity. He is still intimately involved, but God accomplishes everything from a confident and calm position of rest because He KNOWS the final outcome.

Likewise, we must not cease from doing what God calls us to do, but we must cease from working in our own strength and for self-righteous rewards. God will certainly keep us active, but the focus of our effort must be on serving and growing from a position of rest with a true desire to do ALL for the love of God.

Many of us are attempting to walk His path in our own strength by working hard and carrying the burdens which are rightfully His. This is not our call! We must love Him with all our heart and serve Him with all our strength. But we must do so through joyful surrender, submission, and obedience. He will accomplish His work in His time and according to His purpose. Let's continue to reflect more and more of His glory. Let's draw closer into His presence and make every effort to enter His rest.

Have a Christ Centered Day!

Steve Troxel
God's Daily Word Ministries

I am thankful for this piece. Thank you Steve for writing it. I desire for laboring in rest to be a characteristic of my life. Lord teach me to trust you and experience the joy and peace that there can be in responding to your calling on my life. - Amen.

Dancing with my Father

2009-02-16T11:49:00.000-08:00

"He said to me,
'Come dance with me,
my Darling, my Angel, my Delight.'
So I grabbed His hands,
placed my feet on His
and we danced all through the night."
-Me 2/16/2009

Why the City?

2008-12-08T11:26:00.000-08:00

Check out this sermon by Tim Keller at the Redeemer Sermon Store. Scroll down to number 3 and download "Love for the City."

This is a beautiful sermon out of the book of Acts about discovering God more deeply in the city and making him known. God is alive and moving in the cities and the cities are hungry for Jesus.

What is God saying to you about the city? Are you being called out of your comfort in order to learn to love God and to love people more? Do you want your faith to be refined? Do you want to experience a rekindling of your love and desperate need for Jesus? Do you want to be a witness of the transforming love and power of Jesus?

The city is not the only place God works, but praise His name, it is a place He loves and dwells and moves.

Hope

2008-11-24T09:50:00.000-08:00

From prayer that asks that I may be
Sheltered from winds that beat on Thee,
From fearing when I should aspire,
From faltering when I should climb higher,
From silken self, O Captain, free
Thy soldier who would follow Thee.

From subtle love of softening things,
From easy choices, weakenings,
Not thus are spirits fortified,
Not this way went the Crucified,
From all that dims Thy Calvary,
O Lamb of God, deliver me.

Give me the love that leads the way,
The faith that nothing can dismay,
The hope no disappointments tire,
The passion that will burn like fire,
Let me not sink to be a clod:
Make me Thy fuel, Flame of God.

-Amy Carmichael

I love you Lord.

I want to be close to you but I don't know how...

2008-11-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

11/3/08
I have recently discovered that I can ride my bike home from work. I pass a lot of people on my way home. Today I road past a man and an inner dialogue broke out inside my head. “He is in need, should I stop?” “But there are tons of people in need, am I supposed to stop for every one of them?” “But the rich man stepped over Lazarus for a lifetime and that was evidence that the Spirit of the Lord wasn’t in him.” “But it’s getting dark and need to get home to get on with my evening.” “That’s exactly what was going on in the Good Samaritan story wasn’t it? Everyone was just to busy to stop and help.”

I stopped and turned around. I met this man. His clothes were dirty and his hands were cold and calloused. His nose looked a raw-ish pink and white wiry hair covered his head and face. His name was Bob. He was sitting outside a Wendy’s and when I asked if I could get him some food, all he asked for was a coffee. I brought him back some things and asked to pray for him. I asked him what he needed prayer for, and he looked up at me with a look that said, “Isn’t it obvious?” I felt a bit sorry that I had asked such a dumb question, but then again I am sure there were some particular things he needed from God. He did say that he just wanted to get back to how his life was, but that’s all I know.

I prayed for him in the name of Jesus Christ (we are learning in Acts study that there is power in the name of Jesus). I gave him a hug, we said our goodbyes and he thanked me for the coffee that was now warming his body.

I started riding home again, and then I started thinking about how cold he must be. What did I have? I had a sweater that wouldn’t fit him and my pretty purple scarf. I didn’t want to give up my scarf. It was pretty. I was then pressed again. Are things more valuable than people? This man is cold and has to spend the night on the street. It felt awkward returning since I had already left but I returned (remembering then that it was a scarf my Auntie had given to me) pulling my scarf out of my bag asking if he could use it. He told me that I should keep it for myself and that I should stay warm. Hesitating, wishing there was something more I could do, I packed the scarf back into my backpack and headed off again.

I was then struck by the thought of putting this man up in a hotel room for the night. Then he could be warm…But this time the nudging by the Spirit to respond wasn’t as strong, and it was starting to get dark so I took off on my way home. As I pedaled down the street I found myself praying out loud. Why did this man have to be outside alone in the cold? It wasn’t right. It made me upset. Maybe I could just take everyone from the street into my home. But wait, that’s a ridiculous idea. I couldn’t handle it. But what if everyone had it on their hearts to care for the people on the streets and could take in one person a night. What if it became culturally appropriate? I don’t know. Then I started asking God (in Spanish…I like trying to pray in other languages for some reason) for him to bring hope to our city. If we have not hope, what do we have? If we have not Jesus, what do we have? This world is a hard sad place. We try to argue away our desperate need for a Redeemer, a Savior. We can make ourselves really comfortable and not see the need. Or we can educate ourselves really well about the need and then strive to see the political sphere bring the answers. But unless the hearts of men are changed there will always be Bobs on the street in the cold.

I have been wrestling with believing God recently and with the “foolishness” of the gospel. I almost didn’t really know how to pray for Bob because I felt so far from God and had little faith about how He would actually minister to Bob in this situation. Was God going to get him off the street tonight? If I didn’t do it, would anyone? But I am thankful for going against my flesh and responding to the little proddings of the Spirit to love and serve. It warms my heart and it was a reminder to me that without Jesus, and without the transformation of our hearts we will all have nothing else to do but plummet into a dark hole of hopelessness.

I wish that I would have asked Bob if he knew Jesus and shared the gospel with him, but I am hoping baby steps are okay and that God ministered to this man through my attempt at loving him. I am also hoping that I learn how to live both abiding in God and trusting in him and working and laying down myself for others.

Taking A Moment to Give Glory to God

2008-10-23T11:39:00.000-07:00

I want to give glory to God for finding joy and happiness in the simple pleasures:
Sunday:
>One of our youth from our Church received a vision (really cool) from God at Catalina on a retreat and professed his desire to follow Jesus and be held accountable to staying on the path at church.
>I love my church. I am going to help out in the nursery.
>We are holding a neighborhood Harvest Festival!
Monday:
>I am thankful for accountability and being able to be needy.
>Although angsty and confused about some things, I have clarity on some of the reasons I don't trust God and questions I want to ask him, so I can pray about it and seek him in his word. (way better than being confused and frustrated and heavy hearted and not knowing what to do)
Tuesday:
>After being in a funk, I was able to say I was HAPPY at work...an answer to prayer time on Monday.
>God's grace covers work and relationships!
>I made Quinoa and sweet potato fries (my own recipe) and they were yummy.
>We had community prayer at my house and prayed for our neighoborhood and hearts.
Wednesday:
>Prayer Group at work continues and is growing. Reconciliation and Multigenerational and Love are some words to describe it.
>I found time to get bus tokens from Vons.
>I road my bike home from work. That was awesome!
>On my way home I found a farmer's market. Yeah for a piece of home in the city and for unique farmer's market vendors :-).
>I got to help Kathy with her math homework! I'm such a math nerd.
>My roomie made enchiladas (comfort food) and veggies! and spicy black beans (yum)
>We had house meeting and prayed for my ailing joints. I felt for the first time that I should HOPE for healing. I battled unbelief and defensiveness and fought for faith and receiving the word my roomies and God had for me.
>Grace covers hard conversations and growth in our home.
Thursday:
>I responded to the Spirit today and spoke admonishing truth to a woman on my bus.
>My friend is back from Gambia!!!

Mid week update...May I be graced to remember the blessing of Jesus' gift of life to me!

2008-10-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

Covenant and Headship. Challenging and Beautiful. Counter Cultural and Controversial. Food for Thought.

It's So Simple

2008-09-29T17:26:00.000-07:00

"The crowd that had been with him when he called Lazarus out of the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to bear witness. The reason why the crowd went to meet him was that they heard he had done this sign. So the Pharisees said to one another, 'You see that you are gaining nothing. Look, the world has gone after him.'" John12:17-19

It's so simple, yet somehow so hard.

We need Jesus. Our world needs Jesus. The crowd went to meet him because they heard about the things he had done. Go share with the world, your neighbor, your co-worker what Jesus has done. They will come to meet him.

How do I explain...

2008-09-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

"The happiness promised us in Christ does not consist in outward advantages—such as leading a joyous and peaceful life, having rich possessions, being safe from all harm, and abounding with delights such as the flesh commonly longs after. No, our happiness belongs to the heavenly life.

Christ enriches his people with all things necessary for the eternal salvation of souls and fortifies them with courage to stand unconquerable against all the assaults of spiritual enemies. From this we infer that he rules—inwardly and outwardly—more for our own sake than his.

Thus it is that we may patiently pass through this life with its misery, hunger, cold, contempt, reproaches, and other troubles—content with this one thing: that our King will never leave us destitute, but will provide for our needs until, our warfare ended, we are called to triumph."

—John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, 2.15.4

Good morning. This excerpt (above) is a pretty good communication of what I so often feel, but can't always communicate. It may seem that in the things I am committed to and the lifestyle I choose, I am not always a happy bubble of joy, but that does not mean that I am not doing well. I could not imagine at the present time being anywhere other than exactly where I am. I am content to be in the midst of what God is doing and desire to be faithfully committed to His work in me and in the world.

We fight a battle daily against the distracting illusions of the devil (to make this world our home and joy) and the temptation to leave the Great Commission behind. But it's the victories and experiencing God's grace in the failures that make following Jesus so beautiful and exciting.

It's hard though. I am seeking to learn how to live with the urgency of the gospel in my heart, yet not carrying on my back the burdens of the sorrows and the reality of the world we live in. (Or thinking that that is the "holy" thing to do). The Lord says that is His to carry. We are called to be conduits of his love to the hurting people and world around us. In living aligned with him there is a fullness of joy, peace, and purpose that one can't find anywhere else.

Here's to learning boundaries and learning how to journey through this life faithful to the call, resigned to the abundant uncomprehensible grace God desires so much to pour out on us, and hungry for the surpassing peace and joy God promises to his children.

Disciple in the training school of life.

My identity is found in Christ Alone

2008-09-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a quote I received in my email recently from Of First Importance

"Our thinking about who we are as Christians should not begin with what we can discover about ourselves by self-analysis. Rather, it begins with what God says about those who trust in Christ."
- Sinclair B. Ferguson, Children of the Living God (Carlisle, Pa.: The Banner of Truth Trust, 1989), 3.

I just wanted to share that this was a good word for me and something I learned while I was getting lost in the Spiritual Gifts Project. This was a time of reflecting on our natural abilities, acquired skills and spiritual gifts (basically who God has made us to be and how we can bless the body of Christ).

I wrestled with digging super deep into who I was and what made me me, but found that I grew overwhelmed and confused. I wanted to know what made me special and made the mistake of thinking that that was something that could be found in me. I have since realized that it is Christ alone that makes me lovely :-) and it is Christ in me that gives me that significance I was looking for.

Seeking that "special-ness" in myself just propelled me further and further away from having Christ as my center. That was a scary place to be because I had nothing firm to stand upon.

I will leave you with a song that resonates with my heart.

Jesus be the center
Be my source be my light Jesus
Jesus be the center
Be my hope
Be my song Jesus

Be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in my sails
Be the reason that I live
Jesus, Jesus

Jesus be my vision
Be my help
Be my guide Jesus

Have a Christ-centered day my beloved Saints

And They Sang Praises with Gladness...

2008-09-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

On the bus this morning I opened up to where I had left off in my attempt to read through the Bible and landed on 2 Chronicles 29. Here is an except from this chapter:
"25 And he stationed the Levites in the house of the LORD with cymbals, harps, and lyres, according to the commandment of David and of Gad the king’s seer and of Nathan the prophet, for the commandment was from the LORD through his prophets. 26The Levites stood with the instruments of David, and the priests with the trumpets. 27Then Hezekiah commanded that the burnt offering be offered on the altar. And when the burnt offering began, the song to the LORD began also, and the trumpets, accompanied by the instruments of David king of Israel. 28The whole assembly worshiped, and the singers sang, and the trumpeters sounded. All this continued until the burnt offering was finished. 29When the offering was finished, the king and all who were present with him bowed themselves and worshiped. 30And Hezekiah the king and the officials commanded the Levites to sing praises to the LORD with the words of David and of Asaph the seer. And they sang praises with gladness, and they bowed down and worshiped."
I don't know what it was, but I was just really touched by the theme of worship in this chapter. I thought it was cool that the Levites knew how to play instruments. I wonder if they were trained in playing instruments from birth or if once they stepped into their role in Temple Worship the Spirit filled them and gave them the ability they needed to play the song to the LORD. I am convinced that they are both equally possible.
The sound of the whole assembly worshipping, singers singing, trumpets sounding must have been a beautiful sound. How I long to have heard it. I think I experience a little of what this might have been like when my friends and others use their instrument playing/singing abilities to worship the Lord. It makes you get the chills as you sit on Holy Ground in awe of the Majesty of God, or melt inside with peace as you reflect on His extravagent grace that allows you to worship Him.
I have really been touched by the role of music and singing and worship in the Kingdom of God this summer. I have been busy rubbing up against others in community and at work, studying scripture and doing ministry, and finding myself desperate for solitude and peace of mind. I have found that worship can serve to bring unity to community, fights against spiritual warfare in ministry, and bring me to the throne of grace and truth in my personal quiet times with the God.
Now, there are many different ways to worship the LORD. Everything we do in fact should be an act of worship. Sleeping, eating, driving, playing, talking, working...imagine :-). But what I was struck by this summer was the particular role of music and song. It's powerful. I think about Gospel Music and it's history and how a lot of it is giving up those hard things to God, reminding us to praise the Lord at all times, expressing those deep emotions in ways that normal conversation simply cannot convey.
I have found that some of my most intense intercessory and personal prayer times have been when I am stirred to sing my prayers. It doesn't always happen, but when it does, it's really powerful. This mostly happens when I am alone in my car driving somewhere.
Anyway, there is so much more to this chapter in 2 Chronicles, but I'm glad for it's focus on worship. God remains faithful to his people even after generations of idol worship and disobedience. The hearts of King Hezekiah and the others are so grateful.

Seeking Freedom

2008-07-17T08:50:00.001-07:00

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions
The Giver
CREATOR, UPHOLDER AND PROPRIETOR OF ALL THINGS,
We cannot escape from thy presence and control,
nor do we desire to do so.
Our privilege is to be under the agency of thy omnipotence,
righteousness, wisdom, patience, mercy and grace;
For thou art Love with more than parental affection.
We admire thy goodness,
stand in awe of thy power,
abase ourselves before thy purity.
It is the discovery of thy goodness alone that
can banish our fear
allure us into thy presence,
help us to bewail and confess our sins.
We review our past guilt
and are conscious of present unworthiness.
We bless thee that thy steadfast love and attributes
are essential to our happiness and hope;
Thou hast witnessed to us thy grace and mercy
in the bounties of nature,
in the fullness of thy providence,
in the revelations of Scripture,
in the gift of thy Son,
in the proclamation of the gospel.
Make us willing to be saved in thy own way,
perceiving nothing in ourselves but all in Jesus.
Help us not only to receive him but
to walk in him,
depend upon him,
commune with him,
follow him as dear children,
imperfect, but still pressing forward,
not complaining of labour, but valuing rest,
not murmuring under trials, but thankful for our state.
And by so doing let us silence the ignorance of foolish men.

As I have been reflecting on who I am recently during our Spiritual Gifts Project, I have found that I am a person bound by fear. Fear of failure. Fear of people. Fear of not being in control. Fear of things not turning out how I envision. Fear of doing something wrong. Fear of correction or rebuke. Before I couldn't see that fear was at the root of my anxious living and joylessness and lack of childlike freedom. But now that I see, I want so much to be free from this fear. I trust that the Lord has come to make me a new creation (2Corin. 5:17)and to release me from the yoke of slavery (Gal 5:1) (I am enslaved to fear, the sin of not trusting in the goodness of the LORD). Lord teach me to trust you. Teach me to remember and acknowledge your goodness. Transform me and make me free, so when people look and see that I am different your name would be glorified.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:17)"

"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2Time 1:7)"

P.S. Do you like Hammocks?

2008-07-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Madam,

Dancing sounds like a smashingly lovely idea. My life can be darkened all too often by the seriousness created by my unrealistic fears of the mysterious future that I fight to control with my Duk-i-ness, but just can't seem to get a handle on. Flying is a preference as well.

Light, lovely, free as a balloon left to rise high in the sky out of view...

Picking Ice for my Ton Welling Shaved Ice Duke party of Life

-Sir Ice Pick, Duke of Wellington

PS. Do you like Hammocks?

I do

I love how when your feet leave the ground it's as if you can leave the cares of the world for a little while...

*...sigh

Then you get to swing and sway as held gently by the hand of God.

In that moment I find that I can let go and live in the reality that it is not I who carry myself through this life, but the hand of God. Reminiscent of being a child, nurtured and growing in a mother's womb...swaying gently from side to side.

Time stops. I'm on the brim of eternity ready to tip over into the loving care of the Father.

I don't know about you, but I like Hammocks.

Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary Mom and Dad!

2008-07-07T09:57:00.001-07:00

We are told in the Bible, “…whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” I would say that includes celebrating my parent’s 30th Wedding Anniversary as well!

So, on that note, I want to give glory to God. I want to give glory to God for modeling perfect commitment to us and for his abundant grace evidenced in my parent’s marriage.

We are gathered here today to celebrate a commitment…a promise…a covenant that was made 30 years ago between my mom and my dad. This was a commitment to be joined together to become as one.

Genesis 2:24 reads: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

This marriage covenant invented by God is a picture of his perfect commitment to us. God’s children have rebelled against him since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, but because of this commitment to his people he gave his One and Only Son, Jesus, to take our punishment on the cross...so that we could have life and enjoy God forever. The name for such an undeserved gift as God’s commitment to love us is grace.

And, the same grace that was necessary to restore our broken relationship with our Father in heaven is the same that has kept two imperfect people together for 30 years. I love my parents to death, but like everyone else they are imperfect.

So today, I thank God for giving my dad and my mom what they need each day to continue to love and serve each other...that they might be a small light to the world of God’s own commitment to bring life to those who love him.

Mom. Dad. May God grant you the grace to continue to love and honor each other. To respect each other. AND To submit to each other in love in the years to come.

May you strive to be obedient to God and his statutes, that you might know and glorify Him with your lives. AND May you be encouraged by the goodness of your Father in Heaven.

And for those hard times, remember that it was never by your strength, but by God’s strength and his grace to you that you are here today, together in the first place.

Finally, trust in God. For if you love Him, you can be sure that He has been committed to loving you even before time began.

Like a child...

2008-07-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

The Last Ones By: Matthew West

My friend Taylor she's an angel
Ten years old and beautiful
She's a living, breathing miracle
And she proves it everyday
'Cause the odds were stacked against her
From the day that she arrived here
And the doctors told her mom and dad
She'd always be that way

And I confess when I first met her
I was thinking life's not fair
But then she wrapped her arms around my neck
And it all became so clear

God bless the last ones (x2)

One day Taylor sent me a picture
from her Special Olympics race
And I could tell just by the looks of it
she was coming in last place
But she crossed that finish line
with a smile upon her face
as if to say

God bless the last ones (x2)

Maybe the last ones are the lucky ones
The ones who got this whole thing figured out
'Cause when they go looking for something beautiful
They start looking from the inside out

On our way into the restaurant
we passed a homeless man
He was half drunk and half asleep
with a paper cup in his hand
And I confess when I first saw him
I was thinking life's not fair
But then Taylor reached out
and wrapped her arms around his neck
And it all became so clear

God bless the last ones (x4)

Well I wish we could all be the lucky ones
The ones who've got this whole thing figured out
Maybe the next time we go looking for beautiful
we'll try looking from the inside out

God bless the last ones (x4)

Lord make me like a child. Give me your eyes. Free us all from unhealthy views of ourselves, our achievements, and our place in the world. Free us! Show us how to love as you love. Bless you sweet Jesus. Amen.

Servant Partner Interns become 2nd Years :-)

2008-07-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

I got this photo from Jessica (1 of the 3). Thanks Jess! The old 2nd year interns have been commissioned and we have moved up to take their place. We are officially 2nd years! Don't we look responsible and mature :-). This photo makes me happy because these beautiful saints make me happy. Thanks to all who are praying for and supporting us. God is working in us a beautiful thing. We are seeking freedom, joy, and peace all while learning to lose our lives for the sake of the kingdom, our joy, and God's glory.

The Creator of the Universe wants me to call him Daddy.

2008-07-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I felt this burden looming over me. I was unmotivated, I couldn't focus, I felt downright funky. I tried sleeping, but I couldn't sleep off the funkiness. I tried going to the gym, but I couldn't finish a workout without wanting to find a corner to cry. I tried to cry hoping to find some relief, but I couldn't even cry. I don't know much about mental illness, but I would say I was a little depressed. I couldn't shake it. It was awful.

I had hope that it would end, which was comforting because I could not imagine living my days in this state. However, it took some time. It got to the point where I had to take a day off of work because I couldn't function. On that day off I rested; I sang; I prayed; and I tried to seek God. I felt better, but the funkiness still lingered. The next night, I had some girls come over and for 2-3 hours we prayed, listened, talked. The girls read scripture, encouraged me, and challenged me.

About three of them received images of barriers (doors or walls) or themselves sensed this burden I was carrying; this wall that was trapping me in my funkiness. Things weren't fully resolved this evening, but one issue that came up was that I operated in a achievement oriented paradigm and couldn't see clearly what it looked to operate in a paradigm of grace where I was loved, accepted and given the desires of my heart simply because I was known by God.

That weekend I went to Resolved 2008 and heard a sermon on Adoption by CJ Mahaney that blew my mind. It was like once I was blind, but now I see. He spoke out of Galations 4:1-7 which says:

"I mean that the heir, as long as he is a child, is no different from a slave, though he is the owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by his father. In the same way we also, when we were children, were enslaved to the elementary principles of the world. But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God."

I had been living in the truth of being redeemed by God. I rested in the hope of salvation, but I had somehow missed the adoption part. This part is key. It would be enough if God accepted us as his servants. We were his enemies before he called us to Himself, and that was by His grace, not anything that we had done. BUT! He didn't stop there. Through his Son Jesus Christ, he made us his sons and daughters. He calls us his children and desires that we know him as Abba (Daddy)! Father!

Simply Amazing.

One of the things I was challenged with that night the girls came over to pray for me was "What do you want?" At first I said I didn't know, and that was what was so frustrating. I felt like I was lost and didn't have a passion for anything. However, as the evening continued and as they challenged me to ask God for what I wanted...I found out that I want a lot of things.

I mention this here because for me my freedom to ask God for things is dependent on how I view God and how I view myself in relationship to Him. I was afraid to have dreams and desires and to come to God with them, because I didn't want to have the "wrong" dreams and desires. I wanted to ask for that which was "appropriate by His standards" to ask for. I thought I needed to come to God with the perfect plan and requests that were fully in line with his will in order to share my life, my questions, and my desires with God. I didn't interact with God as the most loving, understanding, gracious, affectionate, patient being that ever has and ever will be. I now am growing to interact with Him as such. I am getting to know my Abba. And you know what...that wall is crumbling and I am tasting freedom and joy. The journey is not done, but I feel I am on the journey to find healing and wholeness...that Shalom that so many are looking for.

It starts with having a right understanding of my relationship to God.

I will end with this piece by J. I. Packer:

"You sum up the whole of the New Testament teaching in a single phrase, if you speak of it as a revelation of the Fatherhood of the holy Creator. In the same way, you sum up the whole of New Testament religion if you describe it as the knowledge of God as one's holy Father. If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not understand Christianity very well at all."
J. I. Packer, Knowing God (London: Hodder and Stoughton, 1973), p. 182.

Loving Jesus on the Rapid

2008-06-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

I had my Bible open this morning reading out of 1 Kings as I was on my way to work on the Metro Rapid. This young man in probably his early or mid twenties was standing up near me and said, "what chu readin'?" I said I was reading about King Solomon and asked if he read the Bible as well. He said he did, and in fact he had it in his backpack right now. He said he liked to read different things...Mark, Acts...and he made sure to read his Psalm 23 everyday. He shared a little about how his life has been tough and his honest wrestlings with Jesus. He then shared how he'd been humbled by Jesus, "cuz you can't disagree with Jesus for too long. Eventually you'll find out that He's right.":-) He was on his way to school, studying for a degree in criminal justice.

I love when my Bible reading on the bus leads to conversations with those who love Jesus. One second you are complete strangers, and the next your heart is rejoicing because you just met one of your brothers or sisters in Christ. I wrote down www.desiringgod.org and www.resolved.org and the names of two great Christian rappers Voice and Lecrae on a piece of paper and handed it to him as he got of the bus.

LORD encourage his faith. Soften His heart to your sanctifying work. Make my heart humble as well. Thank you for your church and your love for your children. Thank you for work and public transportation that opens up doors for me to meet your saints and testify to those not-yet-believers who I may never have met otherwise. Amen.